Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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