is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
