I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
PANTIES FOUND
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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