this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
