Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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