thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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