At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
Randomize
