my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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