I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I feel like abortions should bother me more
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
