oh god the rape fog is back!
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
