She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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