I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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