I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
