I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Randomize
