I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
