One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
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