so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
