So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
