So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
