now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
