his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
