oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
my shit smells like andre
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
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