And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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