Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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