I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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