My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
