So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
