let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
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