I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Randomize
