i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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