I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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