Don't you send me to vm
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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