Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Randomize
