I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Randomize
