i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
So many bounce houses so little time
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Ladies don't puke and tell
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
