My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
