well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
