Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
