Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
