It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
