If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
