If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
