i think my mom watched the whole time
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
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