What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
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