Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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