I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
