glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
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