were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
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