im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
