I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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