But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Randomize
