Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
